Once Upon A Time

After completing the National Poetry Writing Month challenge in April (30 days = 30 poems!), I was inspired. May is Story A Day month and I thought, why not?

Why not, indeed. If I hadn’t stumbled across Friday Fictioneers, May might have gone by without even one story from me. Really, I asked myself, not even one story? Yes, I decided, surely I can do one story in one month. And here it is, to celebrate the last day of May, Story A Day month, my one story.
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Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, it was a dark and stormy night. Two roads diverged before me, vanishing into the darkness. Which way to go? I heard whispers, faint, carried on the wind in the willows: “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

I turned and shouted, “Who’s there? Show yourself!” There was nothing, nothing but darkness and the rustle in the undergrowth. Without any light, I couldn’t see my way; I felt lost and confused.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” the trees murmured. “You’ll stay with me?” I asked. “Always, until the end,” the trees replied.

I decided to whistle and took my first step on the road less traveled. I remember what my grandmother always told me, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Yesterday, I sighed, oh yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. It was the day my grandmother exploded and there was no possibility of taking a walk that day. I just sat on the porch and stared off into space, the final frontier.

Night fell. My father had come up from behind and put his hand on my shoulder. I jumped. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“It’s time, son. Time for you to go where no man has gone before.”

I wasn’t surprised, but still I asked, “Why?” My father indulged me with what I already knew, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

And so I had left. It must be close to midnight now, I thought, I hoped, as I stumbled over tree roots, going … where? I sat down for a short rest. I fell asleep. When I awoke, several pairs of wild eyes appeared in the darkness, seemingly unattached to any bodies. I had a feeling I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. I immediately stood up, my back against a tree. One wolf stepped forward. “Resistance is futile,” she said.

“Wait,” I said, my mouth suddenly dry. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good!”

“Oh,” the Lead Wolf said, smiling as only a wolf can, “in that case, have a seat.” A second wolf approached, whispered in her ear. “Make it so,” she said and returned her attention to me. “Now that you are here, you must tell us. What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?”

“I, ah, I, ah, I, ah . . . I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? We’ve been asking everyone who comes this way for years and no one, I mean, no one knows. Don’t you think that odd?”

“Um, well, yes,” I stammered. All pairs of eyes had come forth and sat their wolf bodies down in a circle around me. I knew what I had to do. “I, um, have a question for you.”

Lead Wolf raised her eyebrows. “One,” she said, “you get one question.”

Here goes, I tell myself. Take a deep breath. Exhale. “Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

The wolves’ breathing, that’s all I hear.

“That’s two questions,” Lead Wolf announces. I hear rumbling from the wolf pack. “Oh, please, he can’t even count.” “He doesn’t know what a rubber duck is for and he can’t count to one.” “Stupid people are dangerous.”

“That settles it. Let’s go.” Lead wolf gets up, as does the rest of the pack. I follow, without question. I follow them for the rest of the night. At dawn we come to a beach. Near the point is a small canoe.

“That’s yours,” Lead Wolf says.

“No! That is not my destiny!” I look out at the horizon. No land in sight. The wolves shepherd me towards the canoe and say their farewells, one by one.

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.” “Never give up; never surrender.” I hear snickering as they walk back toward the forest, leaving me alone. “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” “May the odds be ever in your favor.” “Yippie-Ki-Yay!”

Lead Wolf takes one last look in my direction before disappearing into the trees. “You’re going to need a bigger boat,” she says.
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And here it is, with all the credits inserted and the quotes in italics.

Once upon a time (the world’s folktales since 1380), in a galaxy far, far away (George Lucas; Star Wars), it was a dark and stormy night (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton; Paul Clifford). Two roads diverged before me, vanishing into the darkness. (Robert Frost; The Road Not Taken) Which way to go? I heard whispers, faint, carried on the wind in the willows (Kenneth Grahame; The Wind in the Willows): “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” (J.K. Rowling; Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

I turned and shouted, “Who’s there? Show yourself!” There was nothing, nothing but darkness and the rustle in the undergrowth. Without any light, I couldn’t see my way; I felt lost and confused.

I find your lack of faith disturbing, the trees murmured.” (George Lucas; Star Wars IV, A New Hope) “You’ll stay with me?” I asked. “Always, until the end,” the trees replied. (J.K. Rowling; The Deathly Hallows)

I decided to whistle and took my first step on the road less traveled. (Robert Frost; The Road Not Taken) I remember what my grandmother always told me, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.” (J.K. Rowling; The Prisoner of Azkaban)

Yesterday, I sighed, oh yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. (Paul McCartney; Yesterday) It was the day my grandmother exploded (Iain Banks; The Crow Road) and there was no possibility of taking a walk that day (Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre). I just sat on the porch and stared off into space, the final frontier. (Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek)

Night fell. My father had come up from behind and put his hand on my shoulder. I jumped. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“It’s time, son. Time for you to go where no man has gone before.” (Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek)

I wasn’t surprised, but still I asked, “Why?” My father indulged me with what I already knew, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” (Gene Roddenberry; Star Trek; the Texas Supreme Court (Robinson v. Crown Cork & Seal, Supreme Court of Texas No. 06-0714 (2008))”

And so I had left. It must be close to midnight now, I thought, I hoped, as I stumbled over tree roots, going … where? I sat down for a short rest. I fell asleep. When I awoke, several pairs of wild eyes appeared in the darkness, seemingly unattached to any bodies. I had a feeling I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. (L. Frank Baum; The Wonderful Wizard of Oz) I immediately stood up, my back against a tree. One wolf stepped forward. “Resistance is futile,” she said. (Michael Piller; Star Trek)

“Wait,” I said, my mouth suddenly dry. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good!” (J.K. Rowling; The Prisoner of Azkaban)

“Oh,” the Lead Wolf said, smiling as only a wolf can, “in that case, have a seat.” A second wolf approached, whispered in her ear. “Make it so,” she said and returned her attention to me. (Gene Roddenberry; Star Trek) “Now that you are here, you must tell us. What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?” (J.K. Rowling; Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)

“I, ah, I, ah, I, ah . . . I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? We’ve been asking everyone who comes this way for years and no one, I mean, no one knows. Don’t you think that odd?”

“Um, well, yes,” I stammered. All pairs of eyes had come forth and sat their wolf bodies down in a circle around me. I knew what I had to do. “I, um, have a question for you.”

Lead Wolf raised her eyebrows. “One,” she said, “you get one question.”

Here goes, I tell myself. Take a deep breath. Exhale. “Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” (Harry Julian Fink, R.M. Fink, Dean Riesner, John Milius; Dirty Harry)

The wolves’ breathing, that’s all I hear.

“That’s two questions,” Lead Wolf announces. I hear rumbling from the wolf pack. “Oh, please, he can’t even count.” “He doesn’t know what a rubber duck is for and he can’t count to one.” “Stupid people are dangerous.” (Suzanne Collins; The Hunger Games)

“That settles it. Let’s go.” Lead wolf gets up, as does the rest of the pack. I follow, without question. I follow them for the rest of the night. At dawn we come to a beach. Near the point is a small canoe.

“That’s yours,” Lead Wolf says.

“No! That is not my destiny!” (Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman; Star Trek 2009) I look out at the horizon. No land in sight. The wolves shepherd me towards the canoe and say their farewells, one by one.

Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.” (Suzanne Collins; The Hunger Games) “Never give up; never surrender.” (David Howard, Robert Gordon; Galaxy Quest) I hear snickering as they walk back toward the forest, leaving me alone. “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” (Jack B. Sowards, Nicholas Meyer; Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan) “May the odds be ever in your favor.” (Suzanne Collins; The Hunger Games) ”Yippie-Ki-Yay!” (Steven E. de Souza, Jeb Stuart; Die Hard)

Lead Wolf takes one last look in my direction before disappearing into the trees. “You’re going to need a bigger boat,” she says. (Peter Benchly; Jaws)

4 thoughts on “Once Upon A Time

  1. Oh, Tresha, I was bursting with laughter and delight. I caught on right away at the plagiarisms of quotes, words and platitudes; and then, wonder of wonders, you surprised and amazed me with that magnificent list of attributions.

    EN FIN, your story held me captive top to bottom. Way to go. High five. Congratulations on crafting this piece of art.

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