Armadillo Day

A recent WordPress Writing Challenge was to invent and describe a holiday. I did just that a couple of years ago, on my old blog. Here’s Armadillo Day from August 11, 2009. It’s November 2012 now and we’re not in 100+ degree weather. We are, however, still reaching highs in the 80s, running about 10-15 degrees warmer than usual.

Armadillo Day

To state the obvious: It’s HOT here. We just passed our 50th day of temperatures in triple digits. We’re just not used to counting that high for that long.

I think we should start a new tradition, to predict how long our heat wave will last. So on August 1st, we’ll celebrate Armadillo Day.

We’ll have a contest to name the armadillo, but for right now we’ll call him Al. Al will be handled with tender, loving care by the members of the Armadillos Against Leprosy League (AALL). Armadillos, like humans, can get leprosy.

Over time the event will grow to include a 5K run, a bike ride (maybe Lance will show up), a concert (maybe Willie will show up), and a golf tournament (maybe Tom Kite and Ben Crenshaw will show up and hit the links with Lance and Willie), with all proceeds going to research sponsored by AALL. Hat vendors at the event will do quite well. Hats with armadillo ears sticking up and a tail hanging down the back will be particularly popular. Bumper stickers will be another popular item: “Have you hugged your armadillo today?” and “We brake for Al the Armadillo.”

The AALL will have a permit to close off the intersection of Congress and 11th Street, at the south end of the Capitol. Meteorologists from all over the state will show up to report on Al’s every footstep.

Will we have six more weeks of brutal heat that will make us dry up like jerky, or will there be a break in the temperature before mid-September, cooling us down to the mid 90s? How will we know what the weather will be in the coming weeks?

The secret is in what Al chooses.

If he chooses to cross the road, making it to the other side safely under the protection of the police department, we can look forward to a cool front sometime in the very near future. A sigh of relief will float up from the gallery. Thunderous applause will fill the air. Everyone will eat ice cream.

If, however, once Al is set down on the sidewalk, he jumps up in the air about two feet – as armadillos are wont to do when startled – and then sprints up the Capitol walkway, diving into one of the fountains, our worst fears will be confirmed: we’ll have six more weeks of relentless heat, with nary a cloud to protect us. Some people will swoon, just a bit, at the thought of all the burnt skin they have to endure when getting into their vehicles, and, even worse, their skyrocketing electric bills.

After the original Al passes away, we’ll erect a statue in his honor on the south lawn of the Capitol. Children will hang flowers from his ears and tail, put rings on his claws and sunscreen on his snout (and their own noses) and get their pictures taken with him. A new Al will take his place and continue the tradition, but the original Al will have a special place in everyone’s heart.

All By Myself, Revisited

Dave at the East Side Cafe in Austin, Texas

Happy Birthday, Dave!

Yesterday I took my friend Dave to the East Side Cafe (Austin, Texas) for his birthday lunch. Last time I dined at the East Side Cafe, I dined alone.

Here’s why (first posted on May 23, 2010 on my old blog).

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I did something I’ve never done before. Something that is known to be rare for persons of my sex to do: I called a restaurant and reserved a table, for one, for dinner. For me.

I was going to eat dinner – not lunch – at a table by myself. And I was going to order an entrée, not just the vegetable platter, as I am wont to do.

I was on assignment for a writing class: do something you wouldn’t normally do. I considered other possibilities of doing something different. I thought about test driving a high-end Cadillac. I like the TV commercial where a woman is driving a Cadillac and saying that maybe the researchers should spend some time with a different kind of woman, one who doesn’t buy her car based on how many cup holders it has. I like to think of myself as a “different kind of woman,” just one who doesn’t wear spiked heels. But new cars are very attractive and I didn’t want to be surprised to find out just how easy it would be to buy a new car, especially one that was way out of my price range.

Maybe I’d go fishing with my husband. Yes, that would really be out of character. I’m not a water person and I’m too queasy to like the idea of seeing where food actually comes from. I could imagine a hundred ways of snagging myself with the fishing hooks or breaking his favorite fishing rod. I wasn’t willing to risk a divorce, so I vetoed that idea. Dinner by myself, then, remained my choice.

On Sunday night, I chose my clothes with the dinner in mind. I live too far away from town for me to want to drive home, change, and then drive back; I was going to stay in town after work. I decided to add one special touch: a silk shawl; it’s probably the nicest piece of clothing I have. The shawl was a gift from a friend who had visited New York City. She told me she spent all of $5 on the shawl. Five-dollar price tag or not, I liked it, so out of the closet it came.

On Monday afternoon, after one of my meetings finished, I grabbed my cell phone and headed for the hallway to make the reservation. I didn’t want to sit in my cubicle and have anyone overhear me making a dinner reservation for one.

The afternoon wrapped up at work and the restaurant was a short drive from downtown. I got lucky and found a parking space in their parking lot instead of on the street. I combed my hair and applied lip goop; this was, after all, a special occasion. I entered and approached the hostess at the podium. When she saw me, I announced that I had a reservation. She looked down at the reservation sheet, picked up the menu and led me to my table.

Ooh, a table by the window; how nice. Yes, I thought, I could get used to this reservation thing. Sometimes it pays to plan ahead.

She asked for my drink order. I said, “Water, no ice, please.”

Did I hear an echo? Maybe . . . as I was The Only Customer in the place. Oh yes, I had the entire restaurant to myself. Not only was I going to eat dinner at a table by myself, I was eating dinner at a restaurant by myself.

This was not what I thought it would be. I imagined sitting at table amongst other occupied tables, casual conversation floating about, the clinking of silverware on all sides. Timing is everything, though, and obviously it was too early for everyone else.

Still, having the universe revolve around me (at least the part that I could see) wasn’t such a bad idea.

I had brought a book just in case it seemed okay to read while waiting for my food. Yes, indeed, it seemed acceptable in this situation. No one was going to be glancing sideways at me, sending me mental signals that I couldn’t pick up, about how rude they thought I was being. There was no one there to even notice.

The waitress came by, setting candles on each table, and made another round to light them. I thanked her sincerely, as if that extra bit of light made all the difference to me, even though it was a good three hours before sundown.

Just as I finished my salad, two other customers came in. I was disappointed, as I had taken to the idea of being the only customer and the center of the universe. I partially got my wish: the hostess seated them in another room and I was still the only customer in my visual range.

The meal was uneventful except for the wasp that was building a nest on one of the ceiling tiles. I paid my bill, thanked the waitress, gathered up my companions – my book and my shawl – and drove home.

Summer Is Nigh

I removed the smidgens of the winter-evaporated ice in the ice cube trays, washed and refilled the trays. Summer temperatures are nigh upon us.

Here’s an entry about ice cube trays that I posted on July 4, 2010 on my old blog.


I was making lunch one day, kale and avocado salad. (I must explain, here, that the recipe calls for 1/2 avocado. Note to the world: there is no such thing as 1/2 avocado. There is only a whole avocado and it’s for me. There may well be two halves to an avocado, but they are eaten at the same time. There is no “later” for any avocado in my house.)

I was looking for a bowl big enough for all the chopped kale. And remember, I’m one who can use up most of the kitchen items in making a sandwich. This kale and entire-avocado salad (who cares what the recipe says) needed a bowl bigger than I usually use, so I started looking around in the cabinets.

You’d think that because it’s my kitchen that I’d know where everything is. Okay, well, I do now. Probably. Anyway, the bowl I was looking for was in the second cabinet I looked in, so that search didn’t take too long.

But in the first cabinet, where I thought the bowl was (and I’m thinking it used to be there, until I-don’t-know-when), I found some ice cube trays.

Ten ice cube trays.

I have two robin’s-egg blue trays with the square cubes, two white trays also with the square cubes, five light blue trays with oval cubes and one blue tray for miniature ice cubes.

The light blue trays each have 12 ice cube holders. The robin’s-egg blue, as well as the white trays, have 14 holders. The miniature tray has 60 holders. The two white trays in the freezer with square cubes have 14 each. That makes 12 ice cube trays, total. (Excuse me while I do math now.)

I’m pretty sure that’s 204 ice cubes, in one shape or another.

I have no idea how I ended up with so many ice cube trays. We’ve had only one refrigerator at this house. Wedding gifts, maybe, from friends and family who worry about global warming?

Anniversary Presents, Revisited

Here’s an entry that I originally posted on April 25, 2011. Our wedding anniversary is soon, so I’m trying to figure out what to buy for hubby. I notice that I have a book on my Amazon wish list that is perfect for the occasion: Life Is Yours to Win: Lessons Forged from the Purpose, Passion, and Magic of Baseball by Augie Garrido (the coach of the University of Texas at Austin baseball team).

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Men get the short straw when it comes to a lot of “special” days, don’t you think?

Take Valentine’s Day. Pretty much everyone knows the stereotype gift of what the man is supposed to buy for the woman: chocolate candy and flowers. And what is the woman supposed to buy for the man, stereotypically speaking, that is?

Right. No one knows.

Then there are birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. A man can’t hardly turn around before it’s time to figure out the next perfect present. And they are all supposed to be perfect, right? I can’t say that I have the answers to these questions. In fact, I don’t have the answer to all these questions. I can say that couples should look to their common interests for gift ideas. Hubby and I both like baseball.

You know the stereotype anniversary gift story: the man buys a woman what he wants to receive: golf clubs, new tools, a wax job (for the car!), sports magazines. I thought, “What a great idea!” Here’s how I’ve applied that structure. And it’s not a stereotype if I’m the only woman doing it. (Just how many of something does it take for a stereotype to get started?)

Anyway, the traditional gift for the 5th wedding anniversay is wood. The modern gift is silverware (if I can believe everything — or anything — I read on the Internet). I gave my lucky hubby a baseball book that I wanted to read: Wait Until Next Year by Doris Kearns Goodwin.

The traditional gift for the 10th wedding anniversay is tin or aluminum and the modern gift is diamond jewelry. I gave my lucky hubby a baseball book that I wanted to read: Luckiest Man: The Life and Death of Lou Gehrig by Jonathan Eig.

The traditional gift for the 15th wedding anniversay is crystal; the modern gift is watches. I gave my lucky hubby a baseball book that I wanted to read: Baseball in the Garden of Eden: The Secret History of the Early Game by John Thorn.

Of course, I let him read them first. After all, they are his gifts. I’m still trying to figure out perfect gifts to get him for his birthday, Valentine’s and Christmas. Hey! We both like football. Now that gives me an idea ….