I recently saw a photo of a trail in the Brazos Bend State Park. Trees with hanging moss lined the trail and I thought, “How pretty. I’d like to go there.” In looking it up on the Texas Parks and Wildlife web site, I find out that it has 4,897 acres, six lakes, a nature center, an observatory, and miles and miles of hiking, biking and equestrian trials.

And alligators.

One recommended hike is the 40-Acre Lake Trail, which is “an excellent way to view wildlife, including the American Alligator.” Really? I think an excellent way to view any alligator, American or otherwise, is from far enough away that it won’t consider me as part of their food chain. I’m not sure what distance that is, but I’m pretty sure it’s not up close and personal.

In fact, the Brazos Bend State Park has put together an Alligator Etiquette list of do’s and don’ts for visitors:

• ABSOLUTELY DO NOT FEED OR ANNOY THE ALLIGATORS.
• Keep pets on a leash no longer than six feet. Do not throw objects in water for your dog to retrieve.
• Keep at least 30 ft. from an alligator – do not assume they’re slow-moving.
• Do not swim in or wade into any water in Brazos Bend State Park.
• If an alligator goes after a fish you have caught, cut the line and let the alligator have the fish.
• Avoid any alligator sunning itself in the middle of the trail or lake bank.
• Stay clear of grasses, twigs and/or soil near the side of a trail: it may be a nest and the mother alligator is probably close by guarding it.
• If an alligator opens its mouth and hisses, you have come too close. Retreat slowly; make no quick moves. Keep your eyes on the alligator.

Can you hear me now?

Interesting that the list is directed towards humans and not the alligators. Don’t they have to take any responsibility here? Apparently not. I suppose “Alligator Etiquette” is a catchier name than something like “How Not To Be Stupid Around Deadly Native Animals While Traipsing Through Their Home Territory.” I particularly like the advice about letting the alligator have a fish that you caught. I mean, if an alligator has that fish in its mouth, it’s invoking the “possession is nine-tenths of the law” playground rule. You want to contest that one-tenth, saying you went to all the trouble to catch that fish and it’s yours? Not a good idea.

Those moss covered trees sure are pretty at Brazos Bend, but I’m thinking a visit to the northernmost state park might be first on my list, the alligator-free Palo Duro Canyon State Park.

(The Texas Parks and Wildlife agency is happy to let everyone know that the 90+ Texas state parks are open during the federal government shutdown.)