Here’s a kitchen tip: Do not have two items in your hands when going to put something away. Otherwise, your apple may wind up in the oven mitt drawer and the oven mitt . . . well, I don’t know where that went.

I saw a sign yesterday, advertising a house for sale. Five (5) bedrooms and seven (7) bathrooms; 6,200 square feet for only $249,000 or best offer.

Five bedrooms and seven bathrooms. Really? What kind of lifestyle, I wondered, leads to such a house design. Ah, I thought, maybe they are a very sociable family and entertain a lot. That could be a reason for having more bathrooms than bedrooms.

Maybe the owner is a germaphobe and doesn’t want to share a bathroom with anyone else. I imagine a Keep Out! sign on the door of the bathroom that he chose for his own. The only other person allowed in would be the maid, of course, who would come in twice a day to clean it and then the owner would clean it again after she left.

The price: $249,000 or best offer. It was just one of those little signs stuck into the ground without any room for an explanation, but I’m sure it’s not really “or best offer.” It probably means “or best offer” above a certain price level.

I just wonder how many people are lined up with their piggy banks, trying to put in the best offer they can afford. The idea of having A Room of One’s Own is definitely attractive. (with apologies to Virginia Woolf)

I decided to start off the new year by having clean eyeglasses. It’s a good idea at any time, really, but it seemed like a doable task for the new year to clean all our eyeglasses. Hubby and I both have prescription glasses and then have reading glasses scattered hither and yon around the house. I always have good intentions to clean my glasses often, but they somehow get smudged while I’m not looking.

First, I took care of the pair of reading glasses in the bathroom where the eyeglass cleaner is stored. [That’s one.] The next room to take care of was the bedroom, where there were three pair of reading glasses: two on one side of the bed, one on the other. [Four]

In the kitchen

The kitchen had two pair of reading glasses as well, one for hubby and one for me. [Six] The little bathroom had one, both computer desks had two, the extra bedroom (TV room) had one. [Twelve] My purse had an extra pair (just in case I forget my prescription glasses at home). [Thirteen]
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I found two sets in my vehicle and I think hubby’s has two as well; he was gone at cleaning time, so I’m going on memory, there. [Seventeen] And I’m pretty sure I have an extra set at work; I’ll take care of those later. [Eighteen]

At my computer desk

I cleaned our prescription glasses and decided to call it a day. [Twenty]

How did we end up with that many? When we started our “collection,” hubby and I used the same magnification level in our reading glasses; we could share. That changed after a few years and then we needed different glasses. Costco and Sam’s sell them in sets of three, so that’s part of the answer. It looks as if the only ones we retired were the broken ones.

We have so many we should be able to find a pair even with our eyes closed.

I get my neighbors’ hangover.

They stay up late to greet the new year. They party, laugh and have a good time. They shoot fireworks. The fireworks whizzle, zoom, zip, swoosh, careen, burst, explode, ping, and fizzle.

The next morning, it’s me that wakes up with a hangover from their partying.

I get at least two of their hangovers each year: July 5th and New Year’s Day.

If I’m going to have a hangover, it should be from something I’ve done. Life just isn’t fair.