I discovered the elliptical machine at the gym this week. Had to have someone show me how to use it. It looks somewhat similar to the treadmill and as I can walk two miles on the treadmill, I thought I’d start out with 15 minutes on the elliptical.

No, I won’t.

I will start out and immediately decrease the resistance level to its lowest setting and be disappointed there is nothing labeled “for babies.” Within two minutes I know I am in trouble, serious trouble . . . at level one.

I didn’t have on my reading glasses — good thing, too — as I thought that level indicator turned into a frown as I lowered it to level one. I think it was disappointed in me. When I turn on the elliptical, it defaults — humorously and optimistically — to level five.

After five grueling minutes at baby level one, I got off. I’d like to say that I walked to my car, but that’s not true. I wobbled to my car. I have a suspicion I could have joined Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks.

Hello, my name is Tresha and I’m a wobbler.

Housework is so boring. I want a clean house, of course, I just don’t want to be the one to clean it. As I haven’t been able to get the dogs to sweep or vacuum, it’s still up to me, so I look for ways to lessen the drudgery — like the TV.

My cleaning time tends to be early morning on the weekends. And by early morning, I mean around 6:00 a.m. It’s normal for me to be up and about at that hour, but that early on the weekends I’m not inclined to do anything that needs real attention, like cutting fabric or painting a watercolor. I figure I can clean a little bit and have the rest of the day to take care of other things.

The TV shows that are on at 6:00 a.m. are not necessarily the heavy-hitters, audience-wise. Even some of the movie channels have shows that seem to be just filling a time slot until more people wake up. One of the gems I discovered is The Tim McCarver Show. It’s on Sunday mornings at 6:30 a.m. I like professional sports, so that show is a keeper; I’m always sorry whenever I miss it.

(It’s rumored that Tim and I are related. My great-aunt told me that my great-great-grandmother and Tim’s great-grandfather were siblings. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to find that out.)

After Tim’s show, I discovered a slew of TV exercise shows, the paid-for 30-minute advertisements. Those are fun to have on in the background while I’m sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, doing laundry, going through the junk mail from the week and picking up the dog toys.

I’ve learned all about Insanity training, Brazilian Butt Lift Workout (and you don’t even need to leave your living room), KettleWorx, and Jillian Michaels Body Revolution. These are just some of the shows I’ve seen lately.

Those people really work hard! They sweat all over themselves and the floor. They lose weight and inches in no time at all (varying from the first week to 30, 60 or 90 days). It’s all I can do to keep that broom in my hand to prevent me from calling in and ordering each and every one of these programs. Some days I can hardly get any cleaning done because I am so mesmerized that I sit down to watch.

Oh, the irony of it all.

It’s funny how the 5-pound weights are always available when I’m at the gym.

Actually, if you look closely, you can see that I’ve added the tiny 2.5-pound weights on the ends. I’m actually up to 7.5 pounds. Oh, yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Breathe in, breathe out and lift!

Mine! All mine!