A friend emailed me this recipe for Circus Peanut Gelatin. Wouldn’t it be fun, she asked, to make this?

No, it would not.

First off, Circus Peanuts are my weakness. So simple, so pure; mostly sugar and food coloring. To buy them, I have do a little squeeze test through the bag to ensure that they are fresh. Nothing worse than stale, hard Circus Peanuts!

I replied to my friend (although I’m wondering if I should still call her a friend, after having received this recipe from her) that I’d never be able to make this recipe.

One for me and one for me

The recipe calls for 44 Circus Peanuts, divided. Divided, sure. Twenty-two for the recipe, twenty-two for me. Already I need 88 of them, just to have 44 on hand to get the recipe started.

The first instruction is to cut 32 candies into small pieces. I suppose I could use a knife to cut them, but a knife can be so …. sharp. If I use my teeth, which are blunter, I can ensure my safety away from the knife. The recipe doesn’t say how many small pieces are needed from each candy, but I expect that only half of those 32 would survive to become small pieces. Now I need 64 (more?) candies in order to end up with 32 of them in small, non-eaten pieces.

After some microwaving, mixing, and refrigerating, we are instructed to put a candy on top of the refrigerated gelatin. It serves 12, so that’s one candy on top of each serving. And we know how that goes: one for each serving, one for me. That adds up to 24 (more?) just for the decorating step. And since I nibbled on each of the small candy pieces that went into the gelatin, I’m guessing no one else wants a piece of the finished product and that means it’s all mine!

However, by now my eyes are crossed and I’m feeling a little woozy from eating all that sugar. That’s why I think I will stay away from ever trying this recipe. It’s just too sweet for me.