I was shopping at BookPeople (an independent bookstore in Austin) recently, looking for a romance novel.

It’s for a friend. Really.

A friend at work is scheduled for some surgery soon. I decided to put together a gift bag with a few items to help her stave off boredom while she is at home recovering. I bought a mixed bag of pecans (milk chocolate covered, white chocolate covered and honey glazed) from Berdoll Pecan Candy and Gift Farm, located on Highway 71 between Austin and Bastrop. They grow and make all their pecan products. I’m planning on adding some nice hand cream and a romance novel to the gift bag.

Sure, sure, I have read romance novels — two of them, many years ago and that was way more than enough. I vaguely remember them being strikingly similar: It’s the 19th century or before and a young woman of good breeding is somehow rendered penniless and homeless. Because of the laws and society, she cannot inherit property and she has no education or skill (but she has a good upbringing and good manners). She is wearing the one dress she owns and it is tattered. There are regular ellipses in the dialogue . . . and she gasps a lot. A man appears, he might be highborn or a rogue, and he saves her from society’s scorn just for being female and awakens in her the physical desires she’s never even dreamed of.

Just what my soon-to-be recovering friend needs, I thought, to take her mind off of her pain and her temporary immobility. I’ll get her one of those.

Things have changed, my friends, things have changed and that includes romance novels. They have gone over to . . . The Dark Side.

I must have spent an hour in front of the romance section. Where were the stories about 19th-century mansions, secrets and men with curly hair falling into their eyes? They have been replaced by 21st-century wizard romances, vampire romances, werewolf romances, and zombie romances, everyone driving about town in their convertibles and talking on their cell phones. I recognized a couple of authors’ names (purely by chance, I assure you), but I didn’t know anything about them or their books.

I finally just chose one. I ended up with Pale Demon by Kim Harrison (not an author whose name I recognize). The spine lists the book as an “urban fantasy.”

The back cover teaser says that “Condemned for black magic, Rachel Morgan has three days to get to the annual witches’ conference in San Francisco to clear her name. If not, she’ll be trapped in the demonic ever-after . . . forever.

[At least it still has ellipses.]

But a witch, an elf, a living vampire, and a pixy travelling 2,000 miles in one car is a recipe for disaster — not even counting the assassination teams waiting in ambush … or the demon they unleash in St. Louis.

Now, after centuries of torment, a fearsome creature walks free, craving innocent blood and souls — especially Rachel Morgan’s, who’ll need to fully embrace her own demonic nature to survive. And even that may not be enough.”

Gee, I hope my friend hasn’t already read it.